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Monthly Archives: December 2010

Gazing…at the Stars

Pleiades Star Cluster

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So today just became my official “I’ve lost it” day.  I have written 5 poems for absolutely no reason.  I just don’t write poems.  I haven’t since high school so it’s kind of weird.  Anyway, I thought I’d share my favorite with you:

Gazing

When I was one, I had no purpose
Nor did I know or care
When I was three, no purpose still
But no worse did I fare

When I was six, nothing had changed
I still was not depressed
When I was ten, I still had none
And that suited me best

At fifteen, my life had no point
Cursed was my fate
At twenty-one, I knew no purpose
I decided I must wait

At twenty-eight, still nothing came
I began to feel alone
At thirty-six, life was purposeless
Sorrow became my home

At forty-five, my pointless life
Was forcing me to see
At fifty-five, I had no purpose
It was not meant to be

At sixty-six, still nothing there
And it began to show
At seventy-eight, I gave up hope
I had nowhere to go

At ninety-one, I lay on my deathbed
That’s when I understood
My purpose passed me as I waited
In my life, I’d done no good

At fifteen, had I been any wiser
I’d have done well in school
At twenty-one, I’d have fallen in love
If I’d not been such a fool

At twenty-eight, I’d have my children
Had I not waited so long
At thirty-six, I’d be the best dad
If I’d not have been so wrong

At forty-five, my kids would all be grown
And that’s when I would see
At fifty-five, they’d have their own lives
My purpose would be my legacy

At sixty-six, my whole life would change
Kids would have kids of their own
At seventy-eight, my wife and I
Could have settled down at home

And at ninety-one, I’d not be alone
As I lay there near-dead
I could have had them all around
Standing by my bed

So my last dying words, you see
I’ll tell you what they are
There is no purpose you will reach
Just GAZING at the stars

– Paul Scott

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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Posted by on December 13, 2010 in Original Works

 

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12 Questions Asked by Goodlife Zen…, Part 2

On Monday, I mentioned 12 questions asked by Goodlife Zen and I only took the time to answer the first 6 of those questions.  This post is the sequel to that post where I’ll answer the last 6 questions.

7. What Kindness Did You Experience?:  a beautiful wife who puts up with my crap day in and day out, my daughter giving me a toy when I was broken down and crying, a friend who has accepted  me unconditionally, a father/boss who has been kind enough to provide me with the job that supports my family.

8.  What Did Others Do for You?:  a friend took time out of their busy schedule to see me when I was up in Orem, a new friend of mine made me feel as if I was the most important person in the world, my wife makes me a delicious taco whenever I want one, my daughter has opened my eyes to how beautiful life really is when you take a moment to stop and look.

9.  What Inspired You?:  watching the ending of Se7en, the life and writings of William Shakespeare, a mistaken phrase about the weather, musicals that are “a bit off” (i.e. Sweeney Todd, Repo: The Genetic Opera!), never beating my great-grandfather in chess before he passed away, a worthless career which I despise and the everyday challenges of the workplace, films and games and TV shows that I can write fanfiction for, the kid who drew me a different picture every day just because he wanted it to be a story, music, jumping on the trampoline with my friends, my life being changed by the birth of my daughter, every dream and nightmare I’ve had that I remember, fairy tales, too many other events in my life to name.

10.  What Made You Feel Good?:  hearing my wife say she loves me, seeing my daughter walk, reuniting with friends who I haven’t talked to in months (or even years), the rough and coarse texture of a puppy’s tongue when it licks your face.

11.  What Made You Laugh?:  every single second of Hot Fuzz, spinning my daughter around in my arms and then watching her try to walk while she’s dizzy, accidentally stumbling upon others making fools of themselves.

12.  What Difficulty Taught You an Important Lesson?:  every difficulty in my life has taught me one thing – how I’ve handled it has made me who I am.

 
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Posted by on December 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

12 Questions Asked by Goodlife Zen…, Part 1

Cinnamon rolls

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I read an article on gratitude recently by a fellow blogger, Mary Jaksch.  It asked the question “What are you grateful for?” and followed it up with 12 questions to “exercise your gratitude muscle.”  I would like to take this opportunity to answer a few of those questions.

  1. What Made You Happy?:  my wife’s cocked eyebrow when I’ve crossed the line with my teasing, my daughter’s smile with all her spaced out teeth and the gaps that still need teeth to grow into them, beautiful music – both the sad kind which allows you to draw upon darker days and the uplifting kind which gives you hope for a brighter day, television – loads and loads of television, thinking of the fun (albeit stupid) times I shared with my friends as a kid.
  2. What Energized You?: the smell of a hot cup of coffee fresh from the cashier’s hands at Starbucks, songs about the future (i.e. most of the Newsies soundtrack), watching and/or reading the twist as it is finally revealed at the end of Fight Club, the scent of freshly made cinnamon rolls, knowing that I don’t actually have to get up and that if I do it is for my own reasons, writing a powerful scene in my stories and knowing what I’ve written is magical – even if I find out that it sucks later and I was just in the mood to believe in its potential.
  3. What Barrier Did You Overcome?: finishing a novel in one month…or even at all, forgiving my parents and myself for the traumatic childhood I had at home, finally moving away from the dead end town of Orem (sorry to all my Orem friends but that place is dead to me now), finally coming clean with the truth about the rumors of my criminal past.
  4. What Changed You?: the knowledge that God was not actually against me but eagerly watching me to see how I handle life, a wonderful wife who loves me unquestionably and without a judgmental bone in her body, a daughter who screams at the top of her lungs in a fit of joy whenever I get home after leaving (even if it’s only for 5 minutes to run to the mailbox), for friends who inspire me to be a better person (you all know who you are).
  5. What Triggered Your Creativity?: the belief that there must be something bigger than us out there in the world, the hope that whatever lies ahead will be for my benefit and that I will be able to handle it, the realization that there is no line between the real world and a created one – only the lines that we put there ourselves.
  6. What Deepened Your Spirituality?: the moment when my daughter first came into this world and I experienced the unconditional love God has for us all, the twinkle in that same daughter’s eyes whenever I smile at her, a wife who believes in me even when I don’t.

I’ll share the answers to questions 7 – 12 with you tomorrow night.  Be sure not to miss it.!  I’d love to hear what your answers are to these questions so feel free to share them with me.

– Paul Scott

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2010 in Personal

 

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My “Bashful” Apology

It’s been 5 days since I last posted on this blog.  For that I am ashamed.  I have done my best to post something daily.  With the stress of NaNoWriMo over, I had no excuse.  I have been sick but I’m afraid I can’t truly use that as an excuse for all 4 days.  In fact, I’m still sick and I’m writing this post right now so that must not be it.

Honestly, I feel overwhelmed with many emotions ever since I finished my November novel, The Shakespeare Formula, Monday morning at 12:05 am.  The novel was 50,064 words and 241 double-spaced pages.  I have to say, this being the first time I’ve ever completed the 50,000 word goal on NaNoWriMo, I am still feeling as euphoric as the moment I typed the last word into my manuscript.  I’m filled with anger, sadness and the greatest joy a man can feel (besides the day I was married and the day I had my daughter).

This post is my very embarrassed and humble apology to the people who have loyally and faithfully followed and read my posts day-in and day-out.  In other words, sorry mom.  I’ll be sure to pick up my daily pace once again.

– Paul Scott

 

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2010 in Personal

 
 
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