Yes, you read that title correctly. Civilization could possibly collapse if you don’t read my new “Where Else Can You See Me?” page. The truth is, I have a very unique and marketable skill that saves me from the apocalypse or whatever religion chooses to call the end of the world. Here are 10 ways that reading my new “Where Else Can You See Me?” page can prevent the collapse of civilization:
10. I have published several blog entries around the world on topics such as religious “save-your-ass-at-the-last-second” techniques.
9. I have an Amazon wishlist of all the items you may need to survive should zombies take over the world.
8. Should an intelligent species from another planet take over, you will need the documents I have provided to inform them of the importance of humanity’s survival.
7. I am the only man still alive who knows the recipe for the world’s greatest flu-fighting remedy.
6. Without my existence, the economy would collapse.
5. Should the world face Armageddon, I am…all right, I can’t think of any more than that.
1. If all else fails, you can find my email there and find out if I’m still alive. What could be more important to mankind than my survival?
* For legal purposes, I should probably inform you that none of the above statements can be verified. Should the world end, you should contact your local priest, minister, bishop, monk or other religious leader for guidance. Otherwise, whatever God awaits us in the afterlife may judge me for your failures too. And come on, I’ll barely be able to explain away my own!
**Just because I’ve written about them does not prove the existence of any undead creature and/or alien from another world. Thank you.
To read any of my other writings, click the box at the top of this page that reads: “Where Else Can You See Me?” or just click here.
Thanks in advance for all your support.
– Paul Scott